If you’ve ever Googled pictures of prisons throughout history, you may have noticed a lot of them look surprisingly similar to modern-day casinos.
Marble floors. Soaring ceilings. Gaudy chandeliers. And everybody walks around with lots of pockets.
I guess it could go either way.
Fortunately for us all, the Casino Council has not authorized me to add another institution to their ranks. But that doesn’t mean some casinos don’t try too hard. Or fail so miserably it makes you wonder if they’re actually juvenile holding pens.
Let’s take a look at some casinos that make you feel like an inmate.
6. Bellagio
Whomst among us hasn’t dreamed of doing hard time in the glass jail of Bellagio?
Opinions on this casino are about as split as the building itself. Some call it beautiful; others say it looks like a fish tank. Either way, I’d hate to see the size of the vacuum cleaner they use in here.
argosy casino phone numberBellagio does have one of the best poker rooms in Vegas, which can be . It also boasts one of the most famous fountains in the world, which can be seen from most of the Strip.
Is it a bird cage? Is it a rectangular lake? Who knows? But I heard the carp are happy.
Where: Las Vegas, NV
5. Foxwoods Resort Casino
Foxwoods was the first Native American casino to offer slot machines, card games, and live dealers in the US. So, naturally, its founders spared no expense when designing their prison.
This place looks like it was built by a civilization that admired both M.C. Escher and solitary confinement.
The complex is situated on 900 acres of land in Ledyard, Connecticut, but you won’t need that much space to go insane. Trust me. I once got lost in a Supercuts.
Inside, Foxwoods boasts 3400 slot machines, 250 table games, a bingo hall the size of Rhode Island, a hotel with over 2100 rooms, and dozens of restaurants including a steakhouse called “Tocano.” I swear I’m not making this up.
On top of everything else, Foxwoods is connected to a golf course designed by Rees Jones. His nickname is “The Open Doctor,” which sounds like the name of a guy who fixes your back nine after a bad breakup.
Where: Ledyard, CT
4. Atlantis Paradise Island
Disney World isn’t for everyone. Sometimes you want to visit a theme park where people never leave alive.
Enter Atlantis Paradise Island—the Walt Disney Company’s natural enemy.
Atlantis is based on the fictional city that sunk to the bottom of the sea thousands of years ago. However, unlike the original location, this Atlantis has a marine habitat with over 20,000 marine animals and more than 65,000 square feet of underwater windows.
So if you’ve ever wanted to play blackjack while sharks circle above your head, this is the place!
No Deposit Casino Bonuses 2023 - Top Free Spins & Cash Bonus OffersAside from a massive casino, Atlantis offers water parks, multiple pools, several golf courses, and even a kids’ camp. Although nobody has ever emerged from the youngsters program to tell their story.
Where: Paradise Island, Bahamas
3. The Ranch Medford
What better way to segue from a Bahamian prison to…an Oregon rehab facility?
OK, maybe there are a few things. But hey, at least we’re on solid ground now, amirite?
Although The Ranch Medford doesn’t look quite as menacing as some other places on this list, it still qualifies as a casino that looks like a prison. Why? Because getting help for your gambling addiction is often as difficult as escaping from Alcatraz.
Casino Boats Worth Visiting on the East CoastOne key difference between The Ranch and maximum security prisons: nature. This place is surrounded by the Rouge River and hundreds of evergreen trees. Of course, the views wouldn’t mean squat if you couldn’t smoke weed there. Thankfully, medical marijuana is legal in Oregon, and The Ranch encourages patients to bring their cards.
In addition to counseling, yoga, and equine therapy, Ranch guests can enjoy art classes, volleyball, basketball, softball, and hiking trails.
If your idea of hell involves doing any of those things, The Ranch Medford might be heaven.
Where: Central Point, OR
2. Rio All-Suite Hotel and Casino
Rio All-Suites Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas has been described as a giant tent. And to be fair, I once saw it blow over in a windstorm.
While the structure is certainly unique, my focus remains on its prison vibes.
For starters, the place is shaped like a big cylinder with narrow hallways that seem to lead nowhere. This design would make anyone feel claustrophobic unless, of course, they were handcuffed to a stripper pole in their early twenties surrounded by like-minded hedonists.
Oh, wait a minute…
Rio All-Suites used to be known for its annual fetish convention, which attracted thousands of kinky folks each year. I assume the fire code required them to remove the handcuffs, however.
In addition to the standard casino fare, the Rio offers a VooDoo Rooftop Nightclub and several acrobatic shows like KA by Cirque du Soleil. The latter takes place in a 1,800-seat theater that looks suspiciously like a dungeon.
Where: Las Vegas, NV
1. The Cliff Palace at Mesa Verde National Park
Welcome to the big house, T-Bone. I hope you’re not claustrophobic.
Located in southwest Colorado, The Cliff Palace at Mesa Verde National Park is considered one of the largest cliff dwellings in North America. It also appears to be made out of Legos.
Built by the Ancestral Puebloans between AD 1200 and AD 1300, the palace sits high atop a sandstone cliff. And while there’s no evidence of gambling here, visitors can hike through nearby Morefield Campground, which has pit toilets, fire pits, grills, picnic tables, and coin-operated showers.
You know what they say: once you’ve spent a night in the Morefield Campground, you’ve done hard time.
Speaking of hard time, the Cliff Palace has 23 known kivas (religious structures) and over 200 rooms. I’m willing to bet at least one person snuck in a slots machine back in the day.
Best PayPal Casino Sites in the UK - Top Online Casinos with PayPal (2023)Where: Mancos, CO
9 Casinos That Are Nicer Than Your House
Some casinos look like maximum-security prisons because they were designed by the same architect who put up Pennsylvania State Correctional Institute – Graterford. Other casinos make you think, “You know what would make this experience more pleasant? Not being imprisoned.”
Here are nine casinos that could probably buy most prisons and have change left over.
9. The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas
Sometimes you just want to gamble without wondering where the guards are stationed. If that sounds like you, The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas might be your new favorite prison.
With sleek lines, tasteful designs, and plenty of open spaces, The Cosmo is the kind of joint where even solitary confinement would be tolerable. Assuming you had a king-sized bed, a mini fridge, and a personal masseuse named Gonzo.
Like many Vegas casinos, The Cosmopolitan features numerous dining options, multiple bars, a few lounges, and several entertainment venues. You can also catch dazzling views of the Bellagio water fountains from your cell.
Amazing Facts About Online Casino Slot MachinesJust remember to tip the guard who brings you extra towels. He’ll be back.
Where: Las Vegas, NV
8. Kurhaus Baden-Baden
Kurhaus Baden-Baden has been compared to a casino straight out of James Bond. And while Goldfinger was set in Las Vegas, Vesper Lynd did mention wanting to go here for the hot springs.
Construction on this casino began in 1766, but the current building dates back to 1769. That’s right: they’ve gambled and gotten naked in the same spot for over 250 years.
According to legend, Napoleon Bonaparte visited the original Kurhaus to get his spa on. Impressively, he managed to lose a battle without blowing his whole budget.
These days, Kurhaus Baden-Baden is mostly known as a gambling mecca. It also hosts concerts, conferences, and other cultural events. In fact, the casino ballroom is so large it can seat up to 1300 people.
Imagine trying to clear that debt.
Where: Baden-Baden, Germany
7. Tropicana Las Vegas
The Tropicana Las Vegas opened in June 1957 and quickly became a celebrity hotspot. Elvis Presley played seven residencies here, and Jon Voight proposed to Lauri Wellboeur underneath the resort’s tropical lights.
She said yes. To both.
In addition to a classic Vegas casino, the Trop features three sparkling pools, a private escort service (not free), and two high-energy topless cabarets. The Palms is just 2 miles down the strip, or you could save money and watch thousands of hours of Cabaret Fortyfour0 video here at Home.
Eventually.
Tropicana Las Vegas will be rebranded as Chicago-based company, Station Casinos, but that likely won’t happen until 2022.
Where: Las Vegas, NV
6. Monticello
Wait a minute. Thomas Jefferson built a casino?
Yes and no. While scholars continue to debate whether or not Monticello fits the definition of a casino during the 18th and 19th centuries, we know Jefferson owned playing cards, a dice game called hazard, and a spinning wheel used for fortune telling.
Best Video Poker Apps (iOS & Android) in the US for 2023He also hired a French tutor named Jean-Pierre Blanchette who likely taught the future president various card games. Oh, and Jefferson’s daughters reportedly hosted “hookey-poakee” parties that involved gambling and other nefarious pursuits.
Monticello was Jefferson’s plantation home, and it functions today as a museum. Visitors can tour the property, explore the gardens, and learn about life in Virginia during the 18th century. Admission is $30 for adults, $25 for college students, and free for kids 16 and under.
Gratuito. On second thought, maybe skip the “getting thrown in the slammer” bit. They still charge for that.
Where: Charlottesville, VA
5. Hotel de Vienna
Casinos don’t get much classier than Hotel de Vienna in Baden, Austria. Built in 1899, the casino still features cherry wood paneling, crystal chandeliers, plush red carpeting, and frescoes on the ceiling.
The main gaming hall seats up to 400 people, making it ideal for humiliating poor Sophie Scholl at cards. She didn’t have many friends anyway.
Hotel de Vienna closed following Germany’s annexation of Austria in 1938 but reopened in the 1950s. Today, the casino offers roulette, blackjack, and 100 slot machines. Unfortunately, they do not accept leaflets.
Where: Baden, Austria
4. Loews Miami Beach Hotel
There’s no mistaking the Loews Miami Beach Hotel for a maximum security lockup. However, it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to stay here, and the place looks like it belongs in a travel magazine.
Designed by mob architect Sy Berman, Loews Miami Beach Hotel opened in 1954. Frank Sinatra loved the place, and Fidel Castro supposedly had a suite here before taking over Cuba.
While this hotel doesn’t have a casino, there’s one across the street. And honestly, I’d rather watch people gamble with someone else’s money than spend a single minute in a Florida jail.
Even solitary confinement wouldn’t be enough incentive. I share a cell with a mouse, and the next thing you know, we’re besties.
Where: Miami Beach, FL
3. Drury Plaza Hotel Kansas City
Some casinos try too hard to impress you. Others could win you over with a warm smile and a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie.
Casino Review NZ 2023 | Bonuses, Win Rate & Games - Indivisible GamingDrury Plaza Hotel Kansas City falls into the latter category.
This AAA Four Diamond hotel stands 20 stories tall and boasts a full array of amenities, including a fitness center, indoor pool, business center, lounge, bar, and complimentary hot breakfast buffet, cocktail hour, and wireless internet.
No, they’re not running a scam. Yes, you can bring your dog. No, they don’t have a casino, but the Harrah’s Kansas City Hotel & Casino is connected via skywalk.
Try saying that after a few cocktails. I double dare you.
Where: Kansas City, MO
online casino legal2. The Venetian Resort Las Vegas
Earlier, I included the Bellagio on my list of casinos that look like prisons, and I stand by that assessment. That said, the exact opposite could be said about The Venetian. This place feels like a five-star hotel with an awesome casino instead of the other way around.
Like most Vegas resorts, The Venetian offers first-class dining, stunning shows, luxurious shopping, and a spa that costs more than my first car. Oh, and did I mention the gondola rides?
Sure, it’s a little silly to pay $20 to float aimlessly through an Italian village with a stranger who sings bad opera music. But you only live once, right? Plus, the money you spend here stays here.
In your pocket. Or your bag. Don’t worry; I won’t judge you for carrying a purse.
Where: Las Vegas, NV
1. Casino de Spa Frascati
Everybody wants to be a princess, right? Well, you can live like royalty at Casino de Spa Frascati in Belgium.
Archduke Leopold of Austria opened this casino in 1927, and it quickly became the place to be seen. Unfortunately, Casinos de Spa went bankrupt in 2006 and was rescued by the Belgian state railway company.
They renovated the place and reopened it in 2010. I haven’t been there since the facelift, but online reviews are overwhelmingly positive. Many patrons praise the restaurant, bar, and overall elegance of the establishment.
In addition to slots, roulette, and blackjack, Casino de Spa Frascati features jackpot poker tournaments. Just don’t ask about the archduke.
Where: Éghezée, Belgium
More Casino Toplists
Did your favorite casino make our list of gambling spots that look like prisons? Mine didn’t either, mainly because I don’t gamble in maximum security facilities.
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Billie Eilish wrote the song accordingly…
Footnotes:
new usa casinos- Photo of Atlantis Paradise Island provided by .
- Photo of Loews Miami Beach Hotel provided by .
- Photo of Casino de Spa Frascati provided by .
Nolawinersxxx deeeeeees it!!!
Much rather gamble from home and not lose time away nor risk covid….nor prison like atmosphere lol
Any casinos that look like abandoned Walgreens?
Because that's where I usually gamble.
I always thought the Sahara looked like a prison. Shame it’s gone.
The old Frontier in Vegas always reminded me of a prison. They tore that down too.
I always thought Caesars Palm Springs looked like a prison. Maybe that’s why they remodeled it.
Based on the text material above, generate the response to the following question or instruction: What sets Casino de Spa Frascati in Belgium apart from other casinos, and why is it considered a Princess's Place to Play Poker?